Everybody among the lgbt community, including asexuals, have to face coming out of the dreaded "closet". Not many people are big fans of doing so, however.
Let's face it; coming out is hard. It's exciting, terrifying, dreaded and anything but easy. Most people, while planning their coming out, however they may be doing it, dwell solely on the outcome.
"What will they say? Will they think I'm lying? Will they say it's just a phase? What if they're right? Can I go back into the closet if I change my mind?"
The thing about coming out as asexual that makes it especially hard, is that not many people know what it means if somebody is asexual. You have to explain yourself, instead of just a simple statement of "Mom, I'm gay."
Aces around the world are finding ways to explain themselves. My preferred coming out conversation goes as followed:
"Hey, I have something to tell you. It's really important to me, and I need you to understand before you think I'm lying."
"What is it?"
"Well, you know how there's a few different sexual orientations, like hetero-, homo- and bi-sexual? There's actually another one, which describes me perfectly. It's called asexuality, which is basically when a person isn't physically attracted to anybody at all. I can still be emotionally attracted to people, though, which is what makes me pan-romantic. Pan-romantic means I can love anybody, no matter their gender identity or lack thereof."
I know, quite the speech, but that's what it takes to get the point across. Every ace, or other person who isn't straight, for that matter, has their own way of coming out. For some it's simply saying "I'm asexual" and leaving the person to research it themselves, and others, writing a whole speech like I did.
Things to take away from this little lesson; coming out is not easy, everybody has different ways of doing so, and the methodds of coming out vary. The closet can be a scary place, so your best bet is to escape.
Best of luck with your journey.
-Jay
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